Confessions of a FairyTail BL Fujoshi
by InweTinuviel
Summary: In where the females of FairyTail are fujoshis, Lucy and the male population of FairyTail are their unfortunate victims BL CRACK
1. 1X1: Levy's Request

**Chapter 1: 1X1: Levy's Request**

This is CRACK. Complete and utterly senseless FLUFF CRACK.

**Warning:** It contains BL and Gay references but it's all in good fun and humour, but most importantly to help quell this growing BL fangirl in me. I blamed my friends and Fujoshi Kanajo for this.

There are no explict scenes in this story. But there are refs to it. So if you don't feel comfortable with Gay, I advise you to close this window. If you're still here, then read on at my first attempt to do a CRACK story about BL and fairy tail.

Keywords:  
>Fujoshi: female fans of manga and novels that feature romantic relationships between men<br>BL: Boy Love AKA GAY  
>uke: 受（the boy who is the 'girl' in the rship)  
>semetop: 攻 (the boy who is the 'boy' in the r/ship) (well, duh.)  
>CRACK: completely implausible andor bizarre r/ship, usually for a laugh  
>X: the denote a sexual rship between the two parties  
>S&amp;M: Sadist &amp; Masochist<p>

* * *

><p>Levy McGarden love books.<p>

In her room in Fairy Hills, bookshelves reaching the ceiling were filled with every imaginable kind of books. However, there was a small shelf in an inconspicuous corner of her room where she kept her babies.

That was her dirty little secret.

The small shelf held less than fifteen books but they were as precious to her as the one ring was to Gollum.

Well-thumbed through, dog-eared pages, slightly crumpled and torn front covers but Levy loved them.

So you may wonder what sort of books that would be her dirty little secret.

Well…

It was any other day in the guild; Levy was sitting on a bench with her nose buried in the latest spell book. And just like every other day. Natsu and Gray would be fighting.

Levy looked up and watched with a keen eye at the ongoing verbal battle that would climaxed in Gray stripping and Natsu breathing fire.

And then she smirked.

And wondered why she never thought of that possibility before.

Ah…she could pictured it clearly now.

The stubborn fiery uke that refused to admit that he lusted for the cold-hearted male that ignited desires foreign to him.

Levy's smirk widened.

That story would make such a fine addition to her collection.

Yes, the small shelf in the inconspicuous corner of her room was for her BL novels( or comics). But then you see, Levy doesn't just read any BL novels (or comics).

She reads _Fairy Tail BL_.

And then you wonder who the hell would write (or draw) Fairy Tail BL…

* * *

><p>Lucy sighed as she slumped face-forward at the bar, she could faintly hear Natsu and Gray arguing senselessly behind her. She groaned and wondered if this was her punishment for running away from home.<p>

"Ne, Lucy. Rough day?" Mirajane smiled as she leaned from the opposite side of the bar.

Lucy groaned in response. "I need to get a job but those two idiots are engaged in a verbal battle so frequently that I think it'll be a matter of time before I'm evicted from my apartment."

Mirajane smiled sympathetically. "There, there Lucy. Have a drink, I'm sure things will work out in the end."

Lucy lifted her head and declined the drink Mirajane offered; it's too early in the day to get drunk.

"Lu-Chan!" A cheerful voice called as Lucy turned to see Levy who was wearing a wide and excited grin on her face.

"Hi Levy-Chan," she greeted back with a smile that faded when she realized that Levy's smile seemed a bit off.

"I got an idea for a story for you," she said happily, oblivious to the horror growing on the stellar mage's face.

"L-Levy-chan, it's ok. I got a lot of ideas floating in my head, so much ideas that I-"

"I want a Gray 'X' Natsu BL story," Levy carried on as though Lucy wasn't babbling on and on about her endless muse.

Lucy felt herself twitched.

"Y-You want me t-to, Na-Na-tsu and dear god,"

And she promptly slumped face-forward again on the bar. She could stand writing Jet and Droy. She could stand writing about the bizzare love between Alzack and Elfman. But to write about Natsu and Gray? Her teammates? She would never be able to work with them or even look them in the eyes again without the guilty conscience screaming in her subconscious that she made them have sex together.

_Why! Why! Why do these things keep happening to me!_ Lucy wailed in her mind.

"Lu-chan? Lu-chan?" Levy called as she poked the blonde on her arm.

"You promised me to write stories for me…"

"I did no such thing! I was blackmailed into it! And it wasn't even my book!" Lucy cried out in despair.

"Ah Lucy, we are all grown women, we have needs and sometimes it takes something a little different to satisfy those needs, but if you don't I might have to _accidentally_ slip your secret that…"

"OK! OK! I'll write it!" Lucy said hastily as she glanced around nervously.

Levy smiled widened. "You're the best Lu-Chan! I know that a lot would expect Natsu to top but I want to read Natsu as uke. You could write something along the lines of his passion being ignited by Gray's constant stripping! And Oo! Put in the reason that Gray's constant need to shed clothes as sexual repression satisfy only by the feel of Natsu's body rubbing all over-"

"LEVY! I get it! Spare me the details!" Lucy cried, covering her ears. She was on the verge of tears at being coerced into writing something so…so…_deviant._

Levy smiled sweetly. And Lucy felt wary, such a twisted little soul inside something so adorable and innocent.

Maybe that's why Gajeel is so attracted to her.

What an S&M couple.

One taking pleasure in torturing physically, the other prefers using psychological torture.

She wondered for a brief moment who would be the dominant one in bed.

And then she was picturing her best friend having sex with her guild mate while she was sitting next to her. She turned red.

And when she realized she just thought of them as S&M. She was horrified.

Then when she realized that the phrase 'S&M' actually crossed her mind. Lucy wanted to weep.

"I don't think I ever read Natsu as a seme before, it will be refreshing to see Natsu in reversed role for a change. But then, Natsu and Gray pairing has always been one of more popular ones," Mirajane said thoughtfully.

Lucy stared at her. Did she just-

"Mirajane-san, don't tell me you read…" Lucy gulped unable to finish to the sentence.

Mirajane's eyes crinkled in a smile. "Well, being the bartender I tend to observe a lot and it was pure coincidence that I stumbled upon this hidden club about BL in Fairy Tail."

"Dear God, I'm surrounded by hormonal-crazy females who are in dire need of some testosterone in their sex lives," Lucy whispered to herself.

Both of her companions seemed oblivious to Lucy's words as Levy's eyes sparkled with excitemen at MiraJane's words. "Oooh Mirajane-san! I can't believe you actually ship Natsu and Gray! I must introduce you to this REALLY superb Natsu-Gray author then!"

Mirajane giggled. "I'm actually more LaxusMystogan fan," she confessed with a serene smile and then looking around before beckoning both girls closer. "Did you know that ever since Laxus was banished, Mystogan has been drinking rum a lot more and he doesn't drink _at all._"

Levy squealed like a lovestruck schoolgirl while Lucy was debating with herself whether twelve noon was too early to start drinking.

"Are you serious? This is BIG NEWS! I mean why would Mystogan drink _unless_ he wanted to forget something! People don't just start drinking because they wanted to! NOO! There must be some sort of emotional trigger. Like…like LONGING or DESPAIR! Oh! Mirajane-san! This is HUGE! "Levy rushed out in full fangirl mode .

Lucy stared in disbelief. Missing rum equals to Mystogan drinking equals to Mystogan missing Laxus equals to Mystogan and Laxus together.

Wow…Maybe Levy and Mirajane should be the ones writing instead.

"Ne, Lu-chan! I changed my mind! I want a Laxus 'X' Mystogan drunken sex story!"

* * *

><p>Well, how was it? Drop a review yeah?<p>

Unfortunately, I'm not done. The BL fangirl in me seem to be growing rather than shrinking...

BL is like a pandora box. -fujoshi kanajo

I have never agreed with anything more than that in my life.


	2. 1X2: Pandora's Box

Second one - more filler than anything...not much fun stuff - yet

This story would be more like a collection of oneshots with a loose plot connecting them. And by loose I mean very loose. Like the waistband of Gray's pants. XD

* * *

><p>The Fairy Tail strongest team has a habit of breaking and entering. Most of the time the reasons for it are acceptable, but majority of the time it's just because knocking is a hassle.<p>

In fact no one knows it better than Lucy Heartfilla.

For reasons unknown and beyond her, her teammates have taken a strange fascination to breaking into her apartment. One too many a time, she found herself returning to her apartment to see Natsu stretched out on her couch or Gray's half-naked body sauntering in her kitchen.

Or to find Erza sitting one corner of her bedroom.

Like now.

"AHHHH!"

A sharp shrill rang in her small apartment as Lucy emerged from her bathroom, clad in nothing but a bath towel that barely cover her F or was Double-G breasts?

Well, it _had_ been sometime since she last measured them.

Lucy pulled the towel tighter around her as she leaned against her bathroom door, trying to calm down her heart that was hammering hard against her ribcage.

"Erza! You can't just break into my apartment. The lock is there for a purpose you know!" Lucy all but shouted at her as she scrambled to get her pajamas.

"Hm,"

Lucy glanced up and noticed that Erza seemed absorbed in her book. She squinted her eyes at the title on the cover.

"_Weapons through the ages"_

She couldn't help a smile. Typical Erza to be reading a book about weapons, after all she is_the_armor mage.

After dressing hastily, she turned towards Erza, expecting her to state the reason for her visit. So she was puzzled when she saw Erza still sitting on her bed, legs drawn under her and eyes riveted on the book.

Lucy frowned. Was "_Weapons through the ages"_really THAT interesting?

"Erza? Is there a reason why you're here?"

"Hm…"

"Hm?"

"Hm."

"As in Hm yes or Hm as in no?"

"Hm."

And Lucy felt herself getting ticked. She was really looking forward to a quiet night with her writing. Inspiration struck her this morning and she itching to write but with Erza there... It wasn't nice to ignore a guest even though the guest is basically using your bedroom as her own personal reading space.

"Erza, did you really just break into my place to _read?_"

"Lucy. Shut up."

Finally! Something more than one syllabus.

Even though it was basically asking her to put a sock in it.

Lucy huffed indignantly at her female teammate and tapped her right foot impatiently against the floor.

Seriously, was "_Weapons through the ages"_that entrapping?

She strode over to Erza who didn't even flinch from her place on Lucy's bed. Erza only reacted when Lucy snatched the book away from her hands.

"Hey! I was reading that!" Erza snapped.

Lucy scowled at her as she took a quick glance at the page Erza was reading on and was about to tell Erza how her apartment wasn't a library when she made a double-take and held the book with both hands.

_This_is most definitely NOT "_Weapons through the ages"._

Well not the literal sense of the word 'weapon'.

Erza extended one hand for her book as she gave an annoyed glance to Lucy. Couldn't Lucy pick a worse timing? She was just getting to the good stuff.

Lucy felt herself going red whether from embarrassment of reading the book or from a whole different source that has _nothing_ to do with embarrassment. She rather not know.

"E-Erza, th-thi-this-what, I don't…Holy Stars…"

Erza tsked as she snatched her book from Lucy's limp fingers.

The poor girl seemed to be in shock.

Not that Erza noticed, since her head was buried in the book.

It was a while before Lucy found speech again.

"_That_ isn't "_Weapons through the ages"._ Heck! It's not even a book!" Lucy hissed, her eyes glued to the cover in morbid fascination.

It repulsed and attracted her at the same time.

"It's a book Lucy. A novel to be precise," Erza replied, flipping to the next page.

"It's a comic Erza. A comic book."

"I believe the correct term is graphic novel."

"Yes! That's what I said- comic!"

"_Graphic_novel."

"For the love of all the stars! It's a COMIC! C-O-M-I-C, comic!" Lucy shouted in exasperation.

"Lucy, I'm saying it for the last time- GRAPHIC NOVEL. NOT comic."

"What's the difference? It means pictures…and words…in little bubbles!"

Erza sighed as she reluctantly looked up from her com-er _graphic_novel.

"Lucy, I'm sensing that definitions of comic and graphic novel aren't what bothering you."

Lucy's eyes took a subconscious glance at the open page of Erza's graphic novel.

_Damn…_She already past the scene.

"It's the fact that I'm reading a BL graphic novel, isn't it?"

Lucy gulped and nodded.

"Why…why are you of all people reading that?"

Erza shrugged. "For the same reasons that people read mystery novels or you reading those plot less, unrealistic romance novels,"

"And what you're reading is realistic?" She asked incredulously.

Erza rolled her eyes. "For heavens' sake. If it was real it won't be a novel would it?"

Well that was something they could agree on.

There was a silence that hung between them. Erza watching Lucy as emotions flittered across the stellar mage's face.

And Erza's lips began to curve upwards. Ah...seems like Lucy 's curiosity has been piqued. Any moment now…Lucy will ask the question that would give her the key to open the Pandora's Box.

"So…um…what's it about?"

Her smile grew even wider as she replied.

"Want to find out?" And held out the disguised BL graphic novel.

Lucy looked hesitantly at the brown cover and the black and bold words of "_Weapons through the ages"_and gulped.

Her fingers twitched beside her.

And Erza decided Lucy needed a little push.

"Think of it as research, after all being an author means you have to read _widely."_

"That is true and I have been hitting a mental block lately," Lucy answered absent-mindedly as her hand reached out for the book.

_LIAR!_ Her mind screamed. _You just want to know if they are going to have sex!_

And when her fingers clasped around the book, she felt a sensation of impending doom.

Erza let out a satisfied smile as she watched Lucy opened the book a tad too eagerly to the page she glanced at just now.

Pandora's Box has just been opened.

* * *

><p>The next day, Levy was over at Lucy's apartment, having agreed to proof-read her latest chapter. She sat down on Lucy's bed and flopped backwards when she heard a 'thunk'!<p>

Flipping over to look down, she noticed a brown book lying innocently on Lucy's floor. Being a bookworm that she is. Levy McGarden couldn't resist the sight of a book she had yet to read. Who cares that it's "_Weapons through the ages"_!

She leaned down, fingers closing on the spine of the book when Lucy came in at that moment.

"Levy-chan! Here's the- NO!"

But it was too late; Levy had already flipped the book over to glance at its pages.

Lucy cringed at the sight of her friend's shocked face.

Any moment now…any moment. Levy would run out of there thinking that she, Lucy Heartfilia, was a closet fujoshi.

And probably would never want to be associated with her again.

"L-Levy-chan! It's not what it seems! I mean yes! I know what it looks like but but! It was for research...I needed to broaden my horizons and…and Erza…book. Curious…" Lucy trailed off feebly. Suddenly the excuse of research seemed ridiculous.

A _BL_ graphic novel for a _heterosexual_ romantic novel.

Yeahhhh…

"Levy-Chan! I know it looks really bad and I know how I must have look to you…but L-Levy-chan? Wh-Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Lu-Chan, I have a proposition for you," Levy said as she closed the book and handed it to Lucy who took it hesitantly.

Lucy should have known something wasn't quite right when Levy didn't turn a shade of red.

"How much experience do you have in writing a BL novel?"

Lucy's jaw dropped as she stared wordlessly at her friend.

…and the rest as they say,

Is history.

* * *

><p>2nd chapter! and I'm just getting warm up! AHAHAH!<p>

Review yeah?X)


	3. 1X3: Lucy's OTP

**Chapter 3: 1X3: Lucy's OTP**

No.3! Lols. I'm on a roll haha. nyaacat: **Fujoshi**: female fans of manga and novels that feature romantic relationships between men. Hope that answer your qn!XD haah maybe I'll consider having Lucy write that novel:) Poor Lucy!XD

**WARNING:** This chapter contains BL scenes and refs.

You have been forewarned.

Keywords:  
>rom-com: romantic comedy<br>SM: sadist-masochist  
>Yaoi: BL, but more hardcore<br>OTP: one true paring, the pairing that you ship with all your heart and mind  
>R: Restricted. Rating.<br>PG-13: Parental Guidance, not for aged 13 and below. Rating  
>G: General Audiences. rating<p>

For all other unknown words, refer to chapter one:)

* * *

><p>Lucy flinched, watching Levy run around her place before disappearing into a corner and coming out holding an armful of books.<p>

"Here!" Levy said gleefully as she dropped the books into Lucy's lap.

Lucy gaped as she caught sight of two males in a very compromising position on the cover of one of the books.

Was it her or did one of them look a lot like Loki?

Lucy tore her eyes away and suppressed a shudder as she turned towards Levy who beamed brightly at her. Levy sat opposite Lucy and began sieving through the books eagerly. Lucy could hardly recall a time that Levy had been so excited about something.

Was it really the power of BL that is causing her friend to act like an overly eagered kid?

"Ah, here it is. This was my first BL novel I ever purchased!" Levy said with a tad too much pride that Lucy thought it was necessary.

Lucy looked down at the cover and read the title of the book.

"_**Cruel-destined love**__"_

And gulped when she turned to the back to read the sypnosis.

* * *

><p><em>"They say that fate is the author of destiny. But what if destiny decided that it wants to write its way? Two individuals caught in midst of fate and destiny fell in love in the most cruel and forbidden way.<em>

_Will their love triumph against all odds?"_

* * *

><p>At the first glance, it seemed like a typical star-crossed romance novel, but when Lucy looked down below the synopsis, there was a yellow warning label:<p>

**MATURE CONTENT: 18 AND ABOVE**

Lucy swallowed and flipped to a random page with shaky fingers.

* * *

><p>"…<em>he lay among the satin sheets, heart in his throat as Loki looked down at him, lust and desire burning unrelentlessly in his eyes. Gray had never felt so vulnerable or exposed before but he relished in it because he knew that his beautiful lover will never hurt him. He reached up with his pale arms and curled them around Loki's shoulders to tug his lover down and closer to him. Loki obliged as his body pressed against Gray. He could feel their desires reaching out to each other and he wanted nothing more than to give in to the dark pleasure.<em>

'_Make me yours,' Loki shuddered as Gray's soft whispers echoed in his mind. His words only intensify the yearning he had for the dark-haired youth…"_

* * *

><p>Lucy snapped the book shut with more force than needed and Levy frowned at her force. She was rather fond of her first BL novel.<p>

"Lo-Loki and G-Gra-…" Lucy felt faint.

Heavens' stars, her stellar spirit and her teammate.

Lucy started hyperventilating as her fingers tightened its hold on the book. Levy's frown deepened as she tugged her beloved book out of Lucy's vice grip.

She looked at the ashen-faced and the wide and dazed eyes of her blonde friend and decided that maybe a R-rated book was a bit too much for the stellar mage to handle.

Maybe a slightly less intense book would be better.

Levy moved the books around until she found the one of the few books in her BL collection that was a little more ah…PG-13.

"Lu-Chan, how about this instead?" She said and pressed the book into Lucy's hands.

Lucy glanced down and read the title of the book.

**"**_**The School devil"**_

Lucy grimaced. The title doesn't sound so promising.

"It's more a rom-com then anything, it is quite a light read," Levy said as she watched Lucy turned over the book to read the synopsis.

* * *

><p><em>"Gray Fullbuster is the new student at Fairy Tail High School and all he wanted was to fit in but his hopes was dashed when he accidentally crossed paths with the school's high and mighty student council president, Loki, who decided to make it his personal mission to make Gray's life a living hell. Would Gray survived hell or would he fall prey to the devil himself?"<em>

* * *

><p>Lucy took a quick glance at the book and noted that there were no warning labels and mentally gave a sigh of relief.<p>

_At least there are no sex scenes_she thought thankfully and flipped to the middle of the book.

* * *

><p>"…'<em>I hate you! I hate so much!' Gray yelled at the top of his lungs. Loki stared impassive at the furious male in the student council room.<em>

'_If you think that for one moment that I would succumb to this kind of childish bullying, then you are wrong! I'm never going to transfer out of Fairy Tail, so deal with it!' Gray continued his dark eyes flashing angrily as he glared at the student council president._

_Loki walked towards him in an almost lazy manner and Gray backed up till his back hit the wall behind him, suddenly feeling very self-conscious.__He felt warmth spreading across his face as Loki lowered his head until his lips was beside Gray's ear. He__squirmed and suppressed a shiver down his spine as Loki's breath tickled the shell of his ear._

_Loki smirked, making a mental note that Gray was sensitive at the ears._'_Good,' Loki said in a husky voice. 'I like them feisty, makes it all the more exciting…'_

_Gray clenched his fists as his face heated up even more at his words and the body looming over him…"_

* * *

><p>And Lucy shut the book and closed her eyes before opening them to met Levy's gaze.<p>

"Well?" Levy asked, curious. Was it still too much for Lucy?

"I-I can't! I just can't! It's too much! Loki and Gray? I can't! One is my stellar spirit who is always hitting on me! The other is my teammate who is forever flashing me! I can't! I can't Levy! I can't!" Lucy wailed.

Levy sighed. Lucy was expressing symptoms of an early fujoshism.

Symptom one: Repulsion.

"Lu-Chan, relax. They are just stories," Levy said soothingly to the agitated blonde.

"And besides those two are pretty mild compared to what I found in your room. I don't understand why you are so disturbed by it. Unless of course, you rather _see_than read BL…"

Lucy's eyes widened as she spluttered out. "That wasn't mine! It was Erza! She-she left it at my place! It's not mine!"

Second symptom – Denial.

Levy nodded sympathetically.

"Lucy, I'm not judging you. It's perfectly fine if you enjoy graphic BL or yaoi. Some people read BL just for the sex. It's perfectly understandable and I. Get. It. You have needs and fantasies that are only satisfy by boy on boy sex. It's nothing to be ashamed about."

And Lucy wailed even harder.

Why was life so unfair? Why is it that people were always misunderstanding her? She's a good girl, she pays her rent on time, and she holds the door open for the person after her. She always says her 'pleases' and 'thank yous' so what has she ever done to deserve this?

"And Lucy maybe this is a much better outlet for your suppressed sexual urges rather than having wardrobe malfunction constantly or wearing those skimpy cosplay outfits," Levy continued seriously.

"LEVY-CHAN! I do not have SUPPRESSED SEXUAL URGES!" She screeched, her face going red.

"It's not my fault that my clothes are always disappearing or the fact that my body is blessed with womanly curves that look good in almost everything!" Lucy sniffed tragically.

"A bit too much curves if you ask me," Levy muttered under her breath as Lucy huffed at her.

"Ne Levy-Chan…" Lucy started as she began flipping through the books on the floor, scanning through the titles. "You have a lot of Loki and Gray here…"

"They are my OTP! Don't you think they're sooo cute together? I mean they totally have something going on when Gray chose Loki to be his partner for the S Class test! Won't you agree? But I have one somewhere about Gajeel and Natsu…AH! Here it is!" Levy said triumphantly, holding a black leather-bound book in her hands and held it out to Lucy but just before Lucy could take it from her. Levy pulled back her hand and said in a very serious tone,

"Are you sure you want to read it? It contains hardcore SM."

Lucy's hand froze in mid-air as she wondered for a brief moment whether her curiosity was worth it.

"How bad is it?" She asked tentatively.

"A full blown sex scene three pages into the story and another scene about twenty pages after that involving handcuffs and whipped cr- oh sorry. I mean whip," Levy said casually.

Lucy watched as Levy thumbed through the yellowing pages.

"I'll pass," Lucy answered weakly as she pulled her hand back and watched Levy placed the black book beside her. She didn't think she could handle a whipped Natsu.

Whipped Natsu…

_Whipped_ Natsu?

Hell, Levy hasn't said who was what and she already _assigned_ Natsu as the bottom? Dear stars above, is she turning into a fujoshi?

She shook her head, trying to stop thinking of Gajeel 'X' Natsu.

Oh stars…

_Gajeel X Natsu._

_**NO!NO!NO!**_ She screamed internally, but it was too late.

It was as if there was a mental BL checklist in her mind for squeal-worthness.

_Dragon slayers. Hot headed. Strong. Stubborn…And not to mention the tension between both of them every time they meet._

_**SEXUAL**__TENSION._

The words reverberated in her mind.

_**SEXUAL TENSION…**_

Lucy's fingers twitched beside her as a bizarre morbid excitement bubbled inside her.

A sudden scene from Erza's graphic novel flashed across her mind but their faces were that of Gajeel and Natsu.

Lucy gulped as her heart pounded against her chest and she licked her dry lips unconsciously.

She was glad that Levy's back was turned towards her as she searched for one novel that was G enough for Lucy.

"So Lucy, do you have a Fairy Tail OTP?"

* * *

><p>Well, that was fun. LOL<p>

Until the next chapter!

review alrighty? thanks:)


	4. 2X1: First Draft

Seems quite a while since my last update. So here's it is!

ENJOY!Not hardcore at all! HAHAH!

* * *

><p>Lucy sat at her desk in her room, one hand under her chin the other twirling the pen in circles. She stared at the lines of her book as though it had offended her greatly. Lucy flinched.<p>

She couldn't remember the last time she was hit by such a huge writer's block. Letting out a sigh, she straightened up and leaned forward and pressed the nib of the pen on the crisp paper.

_**WRITE DAMNIT WRITE!**_

Lucy took a breath as she tried to recall what advice Levy gave her on writing her first BL short story.

What was it?

What was the key word?

Oh yea…BLUSH.

"And Lucy, it's not the cute dust of pink. It's the diagonal lines across the mid-portion of the face, like those comics! Those full-blown red tomato cheeks!" Levy had exclaimed so excitedly when Lucy protested that her knowledge on BL was almost non-existent.

Lucy pursed her lips and penned down her first sentence.

Should she write an introduction or jump straight into the action?

_In the splendor of the mansion nestled among the hills, there lived a-_

Lucy shook her head, too fairytale like.

Hm, but what did Levy said about BL…

"Lucy! BL MUST. BE. PURE!"

Lucy felt her eyebrow twitched, a pure BL? Was that even possible?

_Once upon a time, there lived a young man with mane like the majestic lion basking in the savannah sun, and eyes the colour of the stormy sea._ Hmm…what was Loki's eye colour anyway?

Lucy frowned. Those damn blue-tinted glasses. She cancelled out the line and began tapping incessantly on the paper as she thought furiously.

What else did Levy said?

"Gray MUST BE innocent! And PURE! Got it Lucy? PURE! Ooo! And put Loki as a PLAYBOY! Oh wait,he already is…"

PURE and PLAYBOY…

Ah no, pure X playboy.

OH! A BLUSHING PURE uke X PLAYBOY seme.

"AND DON'T FORGET KISSING!"

Lucy let her head fall back and groaned loudly. A kiss?

"_ON THE LIPS LUCY!"_

A BLUSHING PURE uke Gray X PLAYBOY Loki seme liplock one shot.

_Loki watched Natsu and Gray battled in out like every other day. He sat that with girls hanging off his arms; both girls were incredibly beautiful but even more incredibly whiny and clingy._

_Could they stop talking about how attractive they are? They aren't like Lucy, so sexy and hot without batting an eyebrow-_

Screw them. It was HER story!

_-But he knew that Lucy was out of his reach, she was a stellar mage and he a wayward stellar spirit. Theirs was a love that never had a chance. "Ladies, it seems that our time together have come to an unfortunate end. Such a pity, I was just starting to get to know you pretty ladies," he said smoothly, pressing his lips to the back of red head's hand, causing her to giggle._

"_Loki-kun…" the other one whined."And you too, darling," he added, placating her._

"_Now, run along," It took a little more before both girls were leaving. And Loki could go back to his favourite past time._

_Graywatch. (Not to be confused with Baywatch)_

_Noting that the argument was getting more and more heated, Loki leaned forward, eager for exhibitionist to start stripping._

_And sure enough, in a matter of seconds, Gray was reduced to his boxers. And Loki could barely contain his love-_

"NO! NO! NO! SEME NEVER SIMPLY _LOVE_! They need to go through hell and angst and loads and LOADS of non-consensual sex with the uke before he realizes that it's LOVE. HE DO NOT SIMPLY falls in love. SEMES ARE RULED BY THEIR PENISES LUCY! PE-NEE-SES!"

Lucy hastily scribbled out 'love'.

_-LUST for his fellow guild member. He looked over appreciatively at the well-defined muscular body of Gray, the chiseled chest and well-sculpted upper arms with the smooth curve of the biceps and deltoids making Loki hungry for him._

_He smirked. One of these days Gray would be his._

"YES! Possessive! Semes are EXTREMELY territorial. They never ever share their ukes! In fact, should their ukes so much as brush past another male, they will be PUNISHED!"

Lucy daren't ask for further details.

However for good measure, she added.

_-Only his. After all, Gray belongs to him._ ("YES! SEMES are also psycho-sociopaths!")

_His eyes still trained on the ice mage as Gray and Natsu finally ended their fight when Erza intervened, sending both in opposite directions. Loki watched with a smirk when Gray landed right beside him._

"_Want a drink Gray?" He asked, sliding the concoction towards Gray who was glaring at Natsu._

"_What?" Gray spat out in annoyance before softening his features. "Thanks Loki!"_

_Loki smirked as he watched Gray downed the liquid. "So, do you always undress around Natsu?"_

_His smirk grew even wider when Gray choked on his drink; he turned sharply towards Loki, eyes watering from coughing so hard._

"_Fuck off Loki," He growled out._

"_Oh I intend to Gray, with you screaming below," Loki thought with a lustful gaze._

"Oh stars," Lucy muttered as she stopped writing. Levy's words coming back to haunt her.

"LUCY! BLUSH! Gray must BLUSH…UKES are pure! They don't swear or sprout vulgarities! Their mind is INNOCENT! INNOCENCE, that has yet to be corrupted under the hands of their SEME!"

Lucy pursed her lips as she scratched out the last two sentences.

"Oh Loki! You're so bad!" Lucy shuddered at the thought of Gray saying that with his big 'childlike?' eyes.

She hastily crossed out the line.

"_N-no, O-of course not, Loki!" Gray stuttered out, as his face flushed a horrid shade of red._

_Loki smirked, this was too easy._Such fun teasing Gray.

"_Oh?" Loki said huskily, leaning forward so his face was mere inches from Gray, who inched backwards, squirming at their close proximity. But Loki will have none of that, he grabbed Gray's delicate_("GAH!")_wrist in his larger hand and pulled him towards him. Gray flinched realizing that there was going to be bruises on his wrist from his vice grip._

"_Wh-What?" Gray stammered, his face flaming even more at the intensity Loki's eyes were giving him._

"_If it wasn't for Natsu, then were you trying to seduce me?"_

_Gray's large doe-like eyes widened at his words as his face turned an even darker shade of red._

_He tried to wriggle out of his grasp but it was futile, Loki had an iron grip on his wrist._

"_L-Loki! Let me go! I-I wasn't trying to seduce you!" Gray cried._

_Loki paid no attention to him as his lips pressed incessantly against Gray's. The ice mage froze as he felt Loki's hot lips on his-_

Lucy almost threw down her pen as she backed away from the desk as though it was repulsed her. She was red. Why the hell was she red anyway? GOSH! It wasn't as if she was the one kissing Loki (or Gray)!

She ran both hands through her blonde locks as she pace restlessly in her room. For heavens' sake, she just made two straight (until proven otherwise) men KISSED!

For what reason?

NONE!

The story was plotless, meaningless, senseless and all sorts of other _–less_.

Lucy let out a frustrated scream as she flopped face down on her bed and screamed into her pillow.

_Fuck Fluff._

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><p>LoLs, enjoyed it?<p>

Leave a review for me, thanks!XD


	5. 2X2: An unlikely critic

part 2-3shots?4shots?Idunno! May-BE!

enjoy:)

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><p>Lucy sank into her bathtub as her tense muscles began to relax. "Ah…" she sighed as she closed her eyes and try to forget the absurd story she had just written lying on her table in her room, opened at where she stopped at.<p>

Which was Loki kissing Gray.

All these didn't quite mattered to her until she step out of her bathroom, clad in only her bath towel that seemed to be having a dilemma to where it should cover for Lucy to be decent.

Lucy wished someone would just shoot her. Why she didn't close her notebook or open to a fresh page or something? Because sitting in her chair, back facing her was the last person she wanted reading that accursed book.

"AHHHH! WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE _**YOU**_DOING HERE?" Lucy shrieked as she frantically tried to pull down the short hem of her towel or up, either way it was failing miserably.

Loki turned and his eyes went up and down her body before letting out a wolfish smile.

"Ah Lucy, do you always undress around me? Or are you trying to seduce me?"

Lucy twitched at the words and wondered why she found them so familiar.

_(Duh...YOU IDIOT! THOSE WERE THE LINES IN YOUR LOKIXGRAY BL!)_

"Turn around and don't look back, you big pervert!" Lucy demanded as she scrambled for her clothes.

She has got to stop coming out of her bathroom with only her towel.

"I think you are mistaking me for my uke," Loki said with an amused smirk as he looked away.

At this, Lucy froze as her heart stopped in that instant.

"This must be a nightmare. This must be a nightmare. Please let me wake up. Please let me wake up!" Lucy chanted internally and for good measure pinched herself. HARD.

She winced loudly and Loki chuckled. DAMN! That hurts!

She daren't turn around. What would Loki say? Oh my stars! What if Loki tells Gray that she was writing a BL story about _them_? How would she ever go on a mission with Gray ever again?

"Lucy," a voice said beside her. She snapped out and whirled around, clutching her night shirt to her chest.

Her face turned beet-root red as she stared wordless at Loki who was crouching next to her in his usual impeccable black suit and blue-tinted spectacles.

His wild hair sticking out randomly and Lucy had an itch to get Cancer to give him a new hairstyle. She hastily stuffed her limbs into her clothes, realizing that she was very exposed to Loki.

Loki stared appreciatively at her as he spun her book like a disc in his right hand. It's a pity Levy's OTP will never come true from the way Loki was leering at her.

"Give me that!" she snapped as she made to snatch her book from his hand only to have Loki moved it behind his back as he smirked at her.

"Not yet," he drawled lazily.

Lucy growled and turned red. "Give that back and go back to the Spirit World! Why did you come out anyway? I didn't call you!"

"Actually you did, I heard you and I thought that you were in trouble so I came, only to appear in this room. I was looking for you when I so happened to see your book on the table and being an inquisitive leo, I took a peek. And then I deduced why you were calling me."

Lucy's brown eyes narrowed as she blushed a fierce shade of red.

"Anyway, since you're my key holder, I am _bound_ to assist you in all ways possible. So to start off," Loki started as he flipped open her book, "the description of Gray in your story seemed to describe a young boy who hadn't seen a shovel in his life…"

Lucy's jaw dropped. She didn't know what was worse, the fact that Loki had read a story about him and Gray _KISSING_ and didn't look affected by it or the fact that Loki was criticizing her work.

Lucy decided in that instant, that the only sane one in Fairy Tail was her.

"Secondly, my hand isn't that much bigger than Gray, actually Gray's hand are more calloused than mine. I should know that because that time I took care of…ah, shan't say," he smiled evilly at Lucy who seemed to pay very close attention to him.

"Would you want to know Lucy?" Loki teased and Lucy thought he was the most horrid spirit ever.

She glared at him. "I don't care, just give me back my book and get out of my house!"

'Tsk! Tsk Lucy! Asking me to come and then chasing me out, how rude! Gray would never do that to me; in fact I used to sleep…" With each word Loki came closer and closer to Lucy.

Lucy gulped as she leaned back as far as she could, for some reason her feet was riveted to the ground.

"Next to him. He was naked…" Lucy felt her heart hammering as a strange feeling began to pool in her stomach.

"We were both naked."

Lucy began to breathe a tad faster.

"In the same room…"

"In fact we almost _always_ sleep together in the same room after each mission."

Dear stars above…

"Af-after e-e-ach mis-m-mi-sion?" Lucy squeaked out.

Loki nodded gravely.

"Medical room after getting injured during our missions. Our beds were always next to each other," Loki remarked, watching Lucy turned even a brighter shade of red.

Lucy flamed, _That_ room. _Oh stars, did I just had dirty thoughts about Loki and Gray?_

"What were you thinking Lucy? Surely, you're not thinking that Gray and I were sleeping naked on the same bed, were you?" Loki said innocently but with a cunning smile.

"NO! I WAS NOT!" Lucy half-shouted at him defensive. "Stop being such an ass!"

Loki grinned. "Speaking of language, what was it that Gray said?" and opened her book to the page as he skillfully evaded Lucy's attempts to wrestle her book from him.

"'_N-no, O-of course not, Loki!' Gray stuttered out, as his face flushed a horrid shade of red.'"_Loki recited and Lucy cringed at how it sounded.

Damn…she swore never to write corny.

"I highly doubt Gray would stutter, or 'flushed a horrid shade of red' or ever utter the words '_"L-Loki! Let me go! I-I wasn't trying to seduce you!"_He'll sprout a string of vulgarities that would put even the foulest of mouths to shame before his cheeks would turned a _'most adorable shade of pink'_."

Lucy spluttered as she stopped trying to get her book back. "Ugh! Would you stop it! I was forced into writing it!"

At this, Loki looked at her curiously. "Forced?"

Lucy glared at Loki as she folded her arms across her well-endowed chest and Loki just realized that she wasn't wearing a bra underneath her t-shirt. Ah…he should pop by more often when Lucy just came out of her bathroom.

"I was coerced into writing 'PURE' BL LOVE story and _that_ morbid thing was the final product," Lucy explained stiffly.

Loki tore his eyes from her chest as he returned his attention to the story. 'Well, it's not _that_bad. Some of the lines are pretty good. My personal favourite was '_But he knew that Lucy was out of his reach, she was a stellar mage and he a wayward stellar spirit. Theirs was a love that never had a chance' "_

Lucy wished the floor would just open up and swallowed her whole. This was beyond humiliating. This was the worst form of torture. OH! Why the hell did she wrote that!

"Seems like we have the true makings of a tragic shakespearean love story, don't we Lucy?" Loki said smiling widely.

Lucy seethed as she refused to give in to her embarrassment. "Oh shut it Loki! Aren't you bothered by the fact that I just turned you gay and having the hots for Gray?" She couldn't help asking.

Loki shrugged as he held out her book to her; she blinked as she regarded him with suspicion. But nonetheless, she took the book and hugged it to her chest, mentally making a note to never EVER leave her book in the open.

"It's not as if I want to have sex with Gray in reality and at least I'm paired with someone good-looking. But Gray is too hard and straight, I prefer something much softer and with curves like you," Loki said suggestively.

Lucy flinched. "Get. Lost. Loki. _NOW_."

Loki chortled as he turned his back on her, "Fine Lucy, seems like my help isn't appreciated. But I want to clarify- I don't fancy red heads much, I much prefer blondes." Lucy flushed.

"Or raven-haired…" he added, winking.

"_And_ this will interest you; I did ask Gray once why he keeps undressing…" Lucy's rolled her eyes.

"Everyone knows reason, it's because his teacher used it to assimilate them into their element," Lucy said dryly.

Loki's lips curved into an annoying knowing smile. "That's only half the story…" Lucy's eyes widen in surprise, curiosity piqued.

"And now I shall leave you sleepless with that! Wouldn't you_**love**_ to know the full story?" Loki's annoying and gleeful voice trailed off as he began to disappear into the spirit world.

Lucy screamed in irritation as Loki's laughter echoed in the room.

DAMN FELINE!

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><p>Hhaha...fine, so not really BL, more LokixLucy!<p>

review!


	6. 3X1: UKE Jellal

So I decided that Lucy needed a break...

CRACK as always thus characters are not right in their minds as well...

BUTTTTTTTTTTT! Enjoy!XD

This is where Jellal magically is a part of Fairytail after prison and all that yadda yadda...

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><p>Jellal Fernandes figured that there were worse ways to spend a Thursday evening.<p>

For example, he could be stuck listening to Elfman talked about how to 'man' it with Erza.

Or he could be on the receiving end of Marakov's lectures on safe sex. (Which isn't so much as safe as far as handcuffs and strawberry cheesecakes goes)

Or worse, being coerced into Lucy's rants of how Natsu is so clueless or Juvia asking advice with her precious Gray-sama.

Just because he's with Erza Scarlet doesn't automatically make him some love guru.

So when Erza suggested him coming over to her place, he jumped on it.

"I have something for you," Erza said as she crossed to her bed, wearing her blue skirt and sleeveless white shirt with her trademark black boots. He stared appreciatively at her back view, noting how her hips swings left to right like a pendulum.

"Come here." He heard her called as she turned and beckoned him forward. Nodding, he went over and his eyes grew big.

"Are those…" his voice trailed off. He turned to look at Erza who smiled serenely at him.

Is there nothing this woman can't do?

On her bed were his trench coats he thought he'll never see again. The one he wore when he was Siegrain. The white with black piping designs down the coat.

The other was his favorite one, black coat with the yellow insignia emblazoned on the left and a hood! A hood!

If Jellal was a girl, he would squeal.

"How did you get it?" he asked, curious. Already stripping off the damned yellow piping black coat with the annoying white bands around his arm, he disliked it. It felt so gay! White bands! GAH!

Erza simply shrugged, not wanting to answer him. And Jellal knew better than to press on.

He almost sighed in contentment as he felt the familiar feel of his thick coat on his shoulders; he looked at the cuff and spotted the small white kitten cufflink.

Definitely his. How could he forget the time he let Milly mend his precious coat when one of the cufflink broke?

"Take it off," a voice commanded.

Jellal turned to look at Erza who seemed to have a gleam in her eyes as she stared at him with an intensity reserved only for her enemy.

'S-Sorry?" Jellal stammered, feeling his stomach dropped, did he did something wrong?

"Take it off," she repeated with more force.

Hastily, Jellal began to take off his coat with (slight) shaking fingers as he held out his old coat, bewildered.

Erza tsked and rolled her eyes. At him.

"I said, take off your shirt you idiot,"

In his defense, Erza didn't specify what clothing to be taken off but Jellal have the sense (Thank God!) not to argue with her.

Jellal stared at her, his face heating up.

Maybe he really should have paid attention to Makarov…

"Er-Erza, aren't we moving too fast?" he protested weakly. "We just go together about a month ago…"

And she rolled her gorgeous eyes at him. Again.

"You idiot! I'm not going to have sex with you, take off your shirt NOW!"

Jellal could point out all the contradictions and irony in her words but (Thank God!) he settled for staring blankly at Erza Scarlet whose eyes seemed to be undressing him…

He resisted the urge to cross his arms over his chest like those naked cover girls on those magazines. However his legs moved together subconsciously.

He gulped. "It's ok. I rather keep my shirt on."

Wrong answer.

The next thing he knew, he was lying flat on his back and his head hitting the floor painfully as something heavy settled on top of him.

"Erza!" he gasped as the wind was knocked from his chest.

"You leave me with no choice Jellal," She said menacingly.

Jellal whimpered. (Accounts will vary later on from moan to groan to scream)

He brought his arms up to stop whatever Erza planned on doing, which is really rather pointless considering the one straddling was The Titania who excelled at combat.

All he does is throw magic balls and fancy hand movements.

Oh, and fly.

"Erza! Stop! Right now!" He cried as he tried to fight off Erza's hands that seemed determined to strip him.

God damn it! He was one of the ten wizard saints!

He will not be undressed by a woman!

"Don't be difficult Jellal!" she growled as she grounded into him and Jellal froze.

_Fuck…_

Erza taking the momentarily lapse, wrestled his white shirt off.

Maybe Gray was right in questioning who wore the pants in their relationship.

Because right now, he was lying on _her_ floor with _her_ on top of him and _her_ stripping off his shirt, pants and dignity.

"Boxers, huh…" Erza commented as she looked at his lower region.

Jellal gulped as he squirmed under her which unfortunately sent a jolt up his spine.

"I always thought you were more of briefs person…" she said as she smirked at him, her eyes occasionally glancing down at his underwear.

"Looks like I lost my bet with Cana. You owed me 10,000 jewels Jellal," she continued as though it was an everyday occurrence for him to pay for her gambling habit.

He twitched. "You were betting on my choice of underwear? And you bet I wear briefs?"

Good God, the level of estrogen in those Fairy Tail women.

Erza nodded as she reached across his head for the fallen coat which inadvertently caused her to press even more on his already growing erection and her very well-endowed chest on his naked body. He gritted his teeth and clenched his fists. The things she was doing to him…

"Stop moving so much Jellal," she reproached as she stared down at him, her scarlet hair tickling his flushed face.

"Get off me Erza," he said as calmly as an aroused man could.

Erza smirked. "No, you only try to escape. So be a good boy and stay _down._"

He glared at her, that evil woman knew the problem she was giving him and she even had the gall to pat him on his head, like some pet she owned.

"Come on," she said as she held out his black coat.

He blinked at her confused.

"You want me to wear my coat? In my boxers? Without anything underneath?"

Erza nodded merrily.

"Is this some kind of sick fantasy of yours?" he couldn't help adding sarcastically.

Erza smiled pleasantly. "I won't go so far as to call it 'sick fantasy'. I preferred to call it 'healthy curiosity.'"

He scoffed. "You know that curiosity killed the cat,"

She grinned wider. "It's a good thing I'm not one."

And then she leaned down, her lips brushing the outer shell of his ear. Jellal stiffened immediately.

"Unless you want me to be…" she purred in his ear.

Jellal sucked in air as he felt the growing discomfort in his boxers. Great, now his mind was assaulted with images of Erza in a cat suit complete with paws, ears and a tail. This was not helping him at all.

How evil can this woman get?

"Wear it," she said as she shook his coat in his face.

He growled, at that point he'll do anything to get that damned sensuous woman off him. "Fine,"

Jellal took his coat from her and Erza promptly rolled off of him as she sat back on her heels and watched him with a fascination. Jellal sat up and stuffed his limbs grudgingly in his coat.

It was a rather strange feeling to wear his coat over his bare skin. He felt so exposed and vulnerable.

"Hm…definitely uke," a voice said conversationally.

His eyes snapped up to see Erza examining him with a critical eye.

"What?" he spluttered out. There must be a problem with his hearing because Erza couldn't have just said 'uke'. As in 'UKE' UKE. As in GAY uke. As in taking it up his… FUCK. Was he fulfilling a BL fantasy?

Erza sighed exasperatedly at him. AT HIM! She was exasperated at HIM!

Was the world some twisted Boy Love Bonanza?

"UKE, Jellal. I'm sure you know what it means."

Jellal was offended and indignant. He was one of the strongest mage and could easily take out a hundred men! How the hell did Erza see him as a uke?

"I'm not a uke," he said dryly as he crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Erza. He was going to defend his manliness.

Erza's eyes raked over hard ridges of his abdomen that weren't hidden by the coat, the long lithe and strong pale legs that was splayed in front of her and felt the familiar heat blooming in her as she drank in the delicious sight of Jellal in only his black coat and boxers.

There was no doubt about it.

Jellal Fernandes was the epitome of hot gay ukes.

She smirked as she swung her legs out and let them stretched beside Jellal's legs. "Denial Jellal, admit it. You want to be driven into."

Jellal flamed as he glared furiously at Erza. "Damn you Scarlet! Which part of me screams uke?"

Her smirk grew as she held out her hand and began counting off them.

"One, you play chess."

He stared in disbelief at her. "How the HELL does playing chess make me a uke?"

Erza shrugged. "It means that you're intellectual, tactical and passive-aggressive. Those are classic uke traits."

"WHAT?" Jellal's eyebrow furrowed. "This is stupid! Just because I like chess doesn't make me an uke! I-I mean-"

"Secondly…Your physique." Erza continued, cutting off Jellal. "You're lean, well-defined…" His lips were tugging upwards. Ah…so she _has_ been checking him out.

"But…" and his lips fell.

"You're not tall or buffed enough like Elfman or primal like Gajeel…"

"Wait…wait! You're saying I'm a uke because I don't look I overdosed on muscle growing lacrimas? Are you saying I'm WEAK?"

Erza bit her lower lip as her eyebrow pulled together. Jellal narrowed his eyes at her, daring her to agree.

"Well, I won't go so far as weak…I say 'skinny'?" she said, putting it like a question.

"SKINNY? Do you know I was ranked in the Top 10 for best beach body in Sorcerer Weekly for** 15**consecutive weeks? Do you know the amount of love confessions I received on a daily basis? DO YOU KNOW?"

Erza rolled her eyes as she waved off his words like an irritating fly as she held out three fingers. "Third, you like wearing tight clothing!"

"That's not true! I have-have um…" Ok fine so he did have a _few_ tees that maybe showed his body rather well…

Erza raised an eyebrow as she waited for his counter argument.

Jellal huffed as he retorted, "I failed how to see wearing tight clothing means I'm a uke. Just to point out, Gajeel wears tight clothing but he's a _seme_ apparently."

"But you see, Gajeel is also very muscular and intimidating."

"AND I'M NOT? Are you forgetting who was the one who infiltrate the council? Build the Tower of Heaven? DEFEATED you? I liked to see THAT STEEL NEANDERTHAL DO THAT!" Jellal shouted at her.

Erza narrowed her eyes angrily as she kicked his shin hard, causing him to yelp in pain.

"That's not very nice to say about Gajeel. He could very easily run you into the ground, writhing beneath him," she warned.

Jellal massaged his shin as he made a disbelief sound.

"You, Erza Scarlet, are a VERY scary and disturbing person," he concluded.

Erza shrugged.

"I need to take a photo of you," she stated as she searched her room for her camera.

"In _this?_"

Erza rolled her eyes for the third time.

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!"

Erza sighed.

"Guess we have to do it the hard way then…" she said in mock resignation.

Jellal will later deny it but he let out a strangled sob.

* * *

><p>I'm not done with you Jellal.<p>

Lucy too. Gray haven't read your master piece yet!X)

review! thanks!:)


	7. 3X2: A closet situation

A rather short one to get me back into the writing groove.

I hope you will enjoy it :)

Gajeel swears like I dunno...a lot? I always think that Jellal will talk like British(like a sir!).

Revamped on 27th Feb 2012~! and Gajeel is rather OOC XD

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><p>Jellal wasn't quite sure how he ended up in this predicament.<p>

Stuck in a dusty closet together with the last person he expected.

He envisioned many scenarios, with a hot chick (AKA Erza), with his chess board and once a dream with a cat mascot head.

But never in his wildest dreams did he ever expect himself to be stuck in a closet with Gajeel Redfox.

So, the next question would be…

How the hell did THAT happened?

Well, it started out like any other normal Fairy Tail day which by normal standards isn't quite normal as it is…abnormal…

(Well, excuse Jellal because being locked in a closet with a steel dragon slayer does things to your vocabulary.)

It was his girlfriend's (Insert Squeal!) fault, Erza had brought photos to the guild that particular morning and in typical Fairy Tail fashion, it got circulated.

As in CIR-CU-LA-TED around Magnolia.

Damn women and their despicable methods of persuasion!

So this morning he woke up thinking of the wonderful cup of morning tea he would have in the guild and somehow ended up screaming as he ran for dear life to Fairy Tail with half of Magnolia's female population hot on his heels.

Which brings us back to the closet situation.

Jellal shifted uncomfortably in the small cramped space, pressing his back further against the wooden panel and brought his knees even closer to his chest as his fingers drummed on his kneecaps. He looked left, right, up and down, in every direction except ahead, because the situation is already very awkward without eye contact.

He heard a rustle of a fabric as the closet creaked under Gajeel's weight when he shifted himself to put as much space as he could between the two of them, which wasn't much as their toes were touching each other and he could feel Jellal's breath as he exhaled nosily.

For a few minutes (well, more like 30 seconds) the silence in the closet was close to deafening before Gajeel cleared his throat and said in a gruff voice.

"So, you're the infamous Jellal Fernandes,"

Jellal nodded before realizing that he probably couldn't see as it was very dark in the closet.

"Yes, I am," He replied. "And you are Gajeel Redfox, the Steel dragonslayer?"

A grunt replied him and then silence. Jellal decided that they might as well have a conversation since they were going to be in here for a while, well until the pandemonium died down.

"So, taken any new jobs recently?" Jellal asked conversationally.

Gajeel shrugged. "Just came back from one with the squirt,"

Jellal frowned. "I'm sorry, squirt?"

"Levy," Gajeel clarified.

"Ah, the one you're hiding from,"

A grunt.

"Women can be quite a handful sometimes eh?"

Grunt.

"I mean look at us, squashed in a closet because of them."

Grunt.

"You don't talk much do you?" Jellal was starting to think he was quite right in his assumption about the steel dragon slayer- Neanderthal

"And you don't know when to shut up," Gajeel retorted.

Jellal rolled his eyes, debating whether is being stuck in a closet with a steel Neanderthal beats whatever is out there.

"So why the fuck are you here?"

Oh look, the Neanderthal is making conversation.

"I'm being harassed by crazy females because of the photos Erza took." He said sulkily. "What about you?"

"Levy's forcing me go to some convention which I rather eat fucking rust and alloys," he replied darkly.

"What convention?" Jellal inquired.

"The one where your photo is going to be…" He replied with a devilish smirk.

Jellal stiffened.

"Erza said NOTHING about submitting it for some goddamn convention," he seethed angrily. "God damn woman! She specifically told me that those were for personal use!"

Gajeel snorted.

"At least Erza only took photos, Levy makes me read out those fucking books" he said bitterly. "You can't imagine how disturbing it is to read out Loki and Gray fucking each other."

Jellal blinked, was Gajeel confiding in him and was that a catch in his voice? This is wonderful! At this rate, Jellal would finally have someone decent to talk to that would not strip and have an IQ higher than a grape fruit.

"Hang in there man," Jellal said sympathetically as he patted Gajeel awkwardly on his shoulder which wasn't even an arm's length way in a show of brotherhood.

Gajeel sniffed, "Just the other day, Levy was trying to bribe me into writing a gay story."

Jellal raised his eyebrows, intrigued. "And?"

Gajeel sniffed even louder, "She was threatening no sex for six months! SIX FUCKING MONTHS! Can you believe the nerve of that midget?"

Jellal chuckled weakly, praying that no one outside heard his outburst. "That must be difficult for you…"

"I didn't have a choice!"

Jellal froze. _Wait, Gajeel isn't saying what I think he's saying…_is he?

Gajeel stifled a rather loud sob. Poor man was having a breakdown in the closet.

"And I still have nightmares every now and then about _them_…" Gajeel admitted in a hushed tone.

Jellal gulped, wondering which was a more cruel way to die. Being trampled by girls or being stuck in a confined space with a dragonslayer having mood swings.

"I'm sure it will all go away…"_eventually_

Jellal almost jumped through the roof when a pair of very large hands grabbed his.

"I thought I was going fucking crazy…"

Jellal tried tugging his hands out but the dragonslayer had an iron grasp.

"Well, you know the bizarre things we do for love…" he tried feebly.

"Jellal…we men need to stick together against those crazy bitches."

"Yes, but not this close…" Jellal muttered under his breath. "Let go of my hands Gajeel!"

"Sorry man! Caught up in the moment. Fuck, I'm turning into a pussy like that Loki! Holding hands and bitching…"

Jellal scooted to make some non-existent space between them.

"Yes well, I'm sure Levy's worth it."

'She's damn worth it! Can't tell how many times she saved my fucking life with her magic…there was once…"

After an hour being stuck in a confined space with the steel dragonslayer, Jellal Fernandes swore to never complain about Tweedlestrip and tweedledumb.

* * *

><p>Hope it's ok!<p>

Remember to leave a review and I am pretty wtf at the latest chapter..I mean you make my Jellal rot in prison for 7 years?

Poor Jellal, I hope Erza would be there in the end to take care of you, provided she survived tenrou island.


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